We all react differently to situations that threaten our world…our existence…like death. Some of us react with denial, with anger or confusion…each of us responds in our own unique way.
We, as a society, are very unprepared to face tragedy and loss. When something unexpected happens that prevents us from taking pleasure in life, we think it’s unfair.Immediately, we start looking for an explanation or an answer that sometimes never comes. The desperation we feel searching for an answer is part of suffering, not only for each of us but also for family and friends.
“Suffering is not a condition that can be cured by physicians – it is a state of being characterized by shattered assumptions about the self and world, destroyed meaning and lost hope,” Dr. Porter Storey has written in his book, Symptoms Control in Dying. “Unrelieved suffering destroys a patient’s opportunity for satisfaction and growth during the final days of life, and it’s memory can haunt family members and healthcare providers for years to come.”
So, family and friends must participate in order to alleviate suffering, but we are often at a disadvantage if we have not been taught how to provide effective care-giving at the end of life. Here are five tips to provide the best care for your relative:
- Good Pain Management: Unrelieved pain is annoying and destructive. It interferes with the ability to cope with unexpected events; it makes you incapable to think, listen, and talk. Pain can be controlled in 100% of the cases, although sometimes the patient will be sedated. There is no valid excuse for a person to endure pain unnecessarily.
- Maximize Control: It is very important to make the patient feel that he or she controls his or her life. Helpful questions like:
- Do you want the light off or on?
- What do you want for dinner?
- Is the room temperature OK?
These types of questions of will empower the person.
- Privacy, Intimacy and Dignity: Despite their sickness, many patients feel the need to have a quiet and peaceful moment hugging their loved one in bed. They want to express their sexuality. They want to maintain good hygiene and cleanliness before welcoming any visitors.
- Addressing Spiritual Needs: It is very important for patients at the end of their life to examine the way that they have lived their life, and the decisions they have made. They need to forgive and ask for forgiveness in order to have a peaceful death.
- Foster Positive Memories for Loved Ones: Allow every family member and close friend time to spend private moments with the patient. Instruct them to talk about the good times, to be thankful for those beautiful moments shared together, and to thank them for their relationship. Sing together, laugh together, and focus on happy times. This will enhance the last days of the patient’s life. Also, these valuable moments will be precious gifts to the loved ones.
The above approach is an easy check list that is based on the hospice philosophy of “Total Pain” created by Dr. Cecily Saunders. This approach has been the main tool to achieve complete relief of suffering at the end of life or when facing any threatening illness or event.
Rafael A. Rodriguez M.D. is a member of the Knapp Medical Center Medical Staff and an independent professional practitioner. He specializes in Internal Medicine and Palliative Care, and is the Medical Director for KMC Hospice Care Services. A past KMC Chief of Staff, Dr.Rodriguez is currently the only physician in the Rio Grande Valley who is board certified by the American Board of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. |
